Do you have a partner who often gets upset and you don’t know how to support them? Have you been struggling to find ways to comfort and help them through their difficult times? Many people find it challenging to know what to do or say when their partner is upset. But the truth is, being there for your partner during their tough times can strengthen your relationship and make them feel loved and cared for.

As a partner, it’s important to know how to support your loved one when they are upset. Today, you’ll learn simple but effective ways to support your partner when they are upset. Through these steps, you’ll be able to provide the comfort and care your partner needs, making your relationship stronger and healthier.

Listen and Validate Their Feelings

Listen and Validate Their Feelings

When your partner is upset, the first thing you should do is to listen to them without interrupting or judging. Let them express their feelings and thoughts freely. Pay attention and show that you are listening by nodding, making eye contact, and acknowledging their emotions. It’s essential to validate their feelings and let them know that it’s okay to feel upset. If you don’t understand their emotions, ask them to explain and try to empathize with them. This will make your partner feel heard and understood, providing them with a sense of comfort.

By listening and validating their feelings, you are showing your partner that their emotions matter to you and that you care about them. This will help them feel supported and loved during a difficult time.

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Don’t Try to Fix Their Problems

Many people make the mistake of trying to fix their partner’s problems when they are upset. However, this may not be what your partner needs at that moment. Instead of trying to find a solution, focus on providing emotional support and letting your partner know that you are there for them.

Even if you have a solution, wait until your partner is ready to hear it. Your main role is to support and comfort them, not to fix their problems. If you want to help, ask your partner if they would like your opinion or advice. This will show that you respect their feelings and boundaries.

Offer Physical Comfort

Sometimes, the best way to support your partner when they are upset is through physical comfort. A simple hug, holding their hand, or cuddling can make a big difference. Physical touch releases oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which helps reduce stress and anxiety. It also shows your partner that you care about them and want to be close to them even during difficult times.

Of course, make sure to respect your partner’s boundaries and ask for their consent before offering physical comfort. So, next time your partner is upset, try hugging them and see how it makes them feel better.

Help Them Relax

When your partner is upset, their body and mind are in a state of distress. You can help them relax by suggesting some relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or listening to calming music. These techniques can help reduce stress, calm the mind, and promote relaxation.

You can also offer to do a favorite activity together that your partner enjoys, such as watching a movie or cooking their favorite meal. This will help distract them from their worries and make them feel better. If you’re unsure of what your partner needs, ask them if there is anything you can do to help them relax.

Be Patient and Understanding

Be Patient and Understanding

It’s important to be patient and understanding when your partner is upset. They may not want to talk about their feelings right away, and that’s okay. We all know that it takes time to process our emotions and find the right words to express them. Also, it’s essential to be understanding and not take their mood personally. Your partner’s upset feelings have nothing to do with you, so don’t take it personally or get defensive. Instead, be patient and give them the space they need to process their emotions.

Being patient also means actively listening to your partner without interrupting or judging them. Allow them to express their feelings and concerns without feeling the need to offer solutions or advice right away. Sometimes all they need is a listening ear and the assurance that you are there for them. Be patient and show your partner that you are in this together.

Encourage Them to Seek Professional Help

If your partner is struggling with intense and prolonged feelings of upset, it may be helpful for them to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. Mental health professionals are trained to assist individuals in processing their emotions and developing healthy coping mechanisms. You can offer your support by encouraging your partner to seek help and even helping them find a suitable therapist if needed. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a courageous step towards taking care of one’s mental health.

You can also educate yourself on mental health and learn about the available resources in your community. This will not only help you better support your partner but also increase your own understanding and awareness of mental health issues. You can attend workshops or seminars, read books or articles, or even talk to a mental health professional yourself for guidance and advice.

Take Care of Yourself

Lastly, it’s crucial to take care of yourself when supporting your partner during difficult times. It can be emotionally draining and overwhelming to witness your loved one go through a tough time.

Remember to prioritize your own well-being and engage in self-care activities that help you recharge and stay mentally and physically healthy. This can include exercise, spending time with friends and family, practicing self-care rituals, or seeking support from a therapist yourself. Taking care of yourself will also enable you to be a better support system for your partner.


Supporting your partner when they are upset requires patience, empathy, and understanding. This can be challenging, but it’s essential to remember that your partner’s well-being is worth the effort. By validating their feelings, providing emotional support, and encouraging them to seek help when needed, you are showing your love and commitment to your partner.

Remember to also take care of yourself in the process so that you can continue being a source of strength for your partner. Together, you can overcome any obstacle and strengthen your relationship. So, be there for your partner, listen to them without judgment, and show them that they can count on you no matter what. That’s the true essence of a supportive and healthy relationship.

May also need: 5 Simple Tips to Strengthen Your Relationship with Your Partner

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What can I do if my partner is not ready to open up?

Give them space and assure them that you’re available whenever they’re ready to talk. Pressuring your partner could make them withdraw more.

How can I tell if my partner needs professional help?

Look for signs of prolonged distress, significant changes in behavior, or mentions of harming themselves or others. Encourage them to seek support but respect their decision.

Should I always wait for my partner to ask for help before offering it?

It’s important to respect their autonomy but offering gentle suggestions, especially when you notice they’re struggling, can be helpful. Use your judgment and your knowledge of your partner’s preferences.

Is it okay to ask others for advice about my partner’s situation?

Seeking advice can be helpful, but ensure you respect your partner’s privacy. Avoid sharing sensitive details that they might not be comfortable having disclosed.

How can I support my partner if their upset feelings stem from issues within our relationship?

Start by opening a dialogue and expressing your willingness to listen and address the issues together. Couples therapy might also be beneficial.

How can I balance my own mental health while supporting my partner?

Set boundaries to protect your well-being, engage in self-care activities regularly, and don’t hesitate to seek support for yourself as well.

What if my attempts to support my partner are not received well?

Communication is key. Discuss your intentions with your partner and ask them how they prefer to be supported. Remember, it’s about them and their needs during these times.

How long should I be patient and understanding with my partner’s upset feelings?

Every situation is different, and it’s essential to respect your partner’s process. However, if you notice they are struggling for an extended period, gently encourage them to seek professional help. Remember that recovery takes time, so continue being patient and understanding throughout the journey.

So, have patience and trust in the process and your relationship. Supporting your partner through their upset feelings will only make your bond stronger in the end.

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