Postpartum Depression (PPD) Is Hurting My Relationship – What Should I Do?

“Postpartum depression (PPD) is real, please don’t ignore it if you want a healthy marriage”

Babies are considered to be precious blessings from God. Having a baby can help you strengthen your relationship and create a deeper bond between partners. However, you need to keep in mind that expecting a child can be exciting, but it comes with a multitude of responsibilities and stress, especially for new moms. 

The stress and worry can greatly escalate when a new mother experiences Postpartum Depression (PPD). Although PPD doesn’t necessarily affect all women, according to research, around 15% of new moms are affected by postpartum depression. 

Some of you might think that there is no condition like PPD, and it is just a myth. Let us help you understand what Postpartum depression is, how negatively it can impact your marriage, and how dangerous it can be if not treated on time! 

What Is Postpartum Depression?

You may have observed that new moms have significant mood swings. This could be because of multiple reasons, such as sleep deprivation, lack of time for a proper meal, or heightened anxiety. We characterized such conditions as Postpartum depression, which usually develops after a few days of childbirth. PPD can persist from two weeks to six months, and in rare cases, it lasts up to a year.

Postpartum depression directly affects a mother’s ability to take care of her child’s needs. Usually, mothers love their children like no one else, but PPD can lead the mother to start hating her child. 

PPD mothers often feel depressed because they think that she isn’t properly taking care of their children and cry too much. After all, a part of their brains tells them this child will bind them to their freedom. In worse cases, the new mom isolates herself from friends and family. Moreover, she struggles to develop a bond with her newborn. 

All this collectively affects their relationship. We have seen many women who seek divorce shortly after childbirth due to PPD. They blame their partners for their situation. 

In many cases, it has been observed that men are least bothered to help their partners with the babies. We believe that if men actively participate in helping their wives and attending to their needs, the situation could be more manageable; otherwise, the consequences can be severe and affect the relationship’s stability. 

How severely can PPD affect your marriage?

Being a parent is one of the most beautiful feelings, but after welcoming the child, things will not be the same as they were before. Obviously, the couple won’t get the private time for themselves, and things get worse if the husbands are not supportive. 

They will ultimately start fighting over pity issues. In most cases, men don’t understand that the female body has already gone through a lot and needs help to continue with the new life. 

Lack of communication, quality time, and decreased intimacy are the most common negative factors that occur due to PPD. In rare cases, PPD can turn into something serious called postpartum psychosis, where a person can become violent and may kill anyone. 

We have encountered many real-life incidents where a suffering mom killed her husband or children. The sad part is that these incidents are not limited to the USA only but you can find history of such cases worldwide. 

In 2001, a Texas woman drowned her 5 children in a bathtub. Another similar case took place in 2018 in ST. Louis, Mo where a mother gun shot her 3 months old daughter and husband and then shot herself. Research shows that this was also a case of postpartum psychosis ( a severe form of postpartum depression). 

If we take a closer look all these are similar incidents and somehow related to postpartum depression’s most severe form i.e postpartum psychosis. 

We believe it was challenging for these mothers to manage everything. Perhaps they were depressed, overwhelmed, and overburdened. Nobody cared for them or understood their situation. Maybe they have lost interest in love and life. 

Whatever the reasons were, simple negligence led the woman to act violently. So you see how mental health is important to keep stability in your relationships. Ignoring PPD can have dire consequences, so try not to ignore it and find ways to overcome it. Ignoring PPD can have dire consequences, so try not to ignore it and find ways to overcome it.

What are the common signs of Postpartum depression?

PPD is not the same for all, with some experiencing severe challenges while others may struggle with managing their relationship while handling a newborn. Whatever the consequences, the symptoms can be more or less the same in all cases which should be recognized and addressed. Below are the most common signs of PPD. 

• Feeling sad and overwhelmed over pity things.
• Continuous negative thoughts and feelings of hopelessness. 
• Feeling guilty or worthless. 
• Not interested in favorite hobbies anymore. 
• Difficulty concentrating, recalling details, and making decisions.
• Sleep deprivation or sleeping too much.
• Change in appetite.
• Thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

How to overcome Postpartum Depression?

Postpartum depression is a challenging condition, but you can overcome it with love and care. Lucky are those who get supportive partners, as their understanding and help can speed up recovery.

However, if your husband isn’t supportive, there are still steps you can take to overcome depression.

Make your time productive while feeding your baby.

Making the most of your time while feeding needs to be taken seriously, as this will help new moms a lot to overcome their postpartum depression. First, create a comfortable position before feeding your baby. If you love reading, bring a book to read during feeding sessions, or you can also listen to lullabies or soothing sounds to calm your mind. 

Work on your me time

Me time is very important for everyone, especially new mothers, so they can relax and unwind their juggling thoughts. So, make some efforts to at least find an hour for yourself. During this time, you can visit a spa for a soothing massage, read a book, listen to soft music, or do coloring. 

You will be amazed to see how this one-hour ME TIME will positively impact your personality and help you escape you from postpartum depression.  

Visit a therapist

While self-care strategies are valuable, therapy can provide additional support and guidance. Visiting a therapist can work wonders when nothing is working for you. If you have developed signs of Postpartum depression, don’t overlook them; try to overcome them on your own; otherwise, it is recommended to seek some professional assistance to avoid any mishap in the future. 

Conclusion

Postpartum depression is the most underrated mental health condition in the US. People need to learn more about it. They need to understand that if you want a healthy marriage, you should treat your partner with love and care, understand her needs and help her lessen her burden after childbirth. 

Moreover, you can book an appointment with a therapist to help her console. If you want to learn more about professional assistance, feel free to email us at Couple Thrive Space.